or, The Stoic’s Guide to Product Management
(…and a book giveaway at the end…)
I’m coming up to two years of being a product manager. I reflected at the six month and one year points of my journey on my lessons so far, but as my two year anniversary approaches I want to re-evaluate what I’ve learnt — and perhaps also unlearnt during that time.
There are so many different lessons and tips I can suggest having been a product manager for two years, but I’m going to settle for a single umbrella topic: the core approach to product management is embracing stoicism.
There have been many stoic philosophers over the centuries, but Marcus Aurelius is probably the most well known. (The sheer fact that his Meditations is in print almost 2,000 years after it was written suggests his enduring appeal.) You might suggest that the core dictionary definition for being “stoic” in the face of adversity derives directly from an Aurelius statement:
“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Now, as a Roman Emperor, Aurelius arguably had control over a lot of outside events, and a cynic might suggest that Aurelius might have been arguing for people to accept the status quo. But Aurelius also knew he couldn’t control everything. As soon as other people and their plans enter the equation, you’ve lost full control. (As soon as nature or time enters the equation, you’ve lost full control.)
In short, stoicism as much as anything is about learning what you can control and what you can’t, and not letting yourself get upset about things that are out of control. Focus on what you can do.
I’ve spent my career being told by one person or another that the next job I take is all about “owning” a {direction | solution | outcome}. You might have done too. But it’s never the truth. I’m not saying people lie – rather there’s an in a vacuum understanding of the responsibilities of a role and the actual reality of it. For example:
- When I became an engineering manager I was told I’d get to own the direction and growth of the team. The reality? I had about 5%, maybe 10% input. Everything else was predicated by market factors and customer requirements.
- When I became the first, sole employee of the Australian arm of a company, I was told I would get to own the approach the company took in Australia. The reality? I was listened to maybe 10% or 20% of the time and the rest of the time the direction was predicated by market factors, customer requirements and internecine power shuffling between various company stakeholders.
- When I became a pre-sales engineer I was told I’d get to own the solution put forward. The reality? I could envisage my optimal solution as much as I wanted, but the solution put in place was always tempered by budget requirements, bigger picture technical directions within the customer, market factors and so on.
That vacuum vs reality approach is the same for product management as well. I did a quick look at a number of product management job advertisements before I wrote this post and — sure enough — a common description of the responsibilities of the role (e.g., under the very excited “What you’ll be doing!” section of the advertisement) invariably includes getting to own (and usually set) the direction of the product. Such a statement may be true (in a vacuum), but it’s a truth tempered by the reality of all the caveats and footnotes associated with ‘own’. For instance, as a product manager you may very well own the direction of your product (or the area you are the product manager for, in larger products), but, you own that direction subject to:
- Market pressures
- Customer requirements
- Competitive behaviour
- Corporate priorities
- Engineering resources
- Engineering priorities
- Architectural directions
- and so on.
If you walk into product management thinking that it’s a rule-with-an-iron-fist sort of ownership, you’re going to be frustrated really quickly. (In fact I’d suggest if you go into any job where you’re promised ownership of something and you think you’ll get to rule-with-an-iron-fist, you’ll end up disappointed.)
Marcus Aurelius might suggest that you own the direction you’d like to take a product, but you can’t fully control that direction. Your inputs are (undoubtedly) important, but what is perhaps more important is your ability to adapt to and adjust your expectations based on the reality of the situation.
“Observe always that everything is the result of change, and get used to thinking that there is nothing Nature loves so well as to change existing forms and make new ones like them.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations.
Later philosophers and religions borrowed from stoic teachings to suggest the simple idea that boils down to this: If things can’t be how I want them to be, give me the strength to accept things as they are. (All within reason, of course: interpreted too literally it’s an argument for apathy, one which says people shouldn’t get out on the street and protest injustices, climate change inaction, corrupt politicians and so on. Let’s burn that idea to the ground – in an environmentally friendly way of course.)
A stoic approach to product management lets you understand that you pick your battles, so to speak. You learn what you can change, and what you can influence, and you go all out on those things to bring the change you want – but you also learn to see what you can’t change, or what the limits are on what you can change. Along with that you learn to compromise and work collaboratively, and to swallow down the frustrations that might otherwise come with working outside a vacuum.
This is my absolute core lesson from two years of product management — learn to be a stoic; not in the dictionary definition of “impassive in the face of pain or hardship”, but in a philosophical sense. That’s how you’ll get to change the world.
Before I go — I’m running a competition to give away some copies of my latest book, The Busy IT Manager’s Guide to Data Recovery. You can enter below:
Winners will be drawn & announced Saturday 20 January 2024.